Papa and me - A day before my wedding
I have been mentally writing this post for many many day. My one thought was to slip in quietly and resume writing again, as if nothing had ever happened. Doing that would have been so much more easier.
With this post I'm hoping for a catharsis.
On August 10th I received a phone call that changed my life forever. Papa, who was on a business trip to China, passed away in his sleep. I was devastated. We all were. For the longest time I didn't believe it. I had spoken to him a day before and he was happily telling me about his adventures in China. It was his first time there and he was enjoying it very much.
We left for India the next day and I have been here ever since. We were a close knit family of four (Papa, Mummy, my younger sister and me) and with papa gone there is a big gaping hole.
He was my one man fan club. The first one to congratulate me when I hit 100 sales on etsy, the one to print and proudly show around my first interview, the one to save my first newspaper front page picture. He would check the shop and read my blog daily. He sometimes knew about a sale before I did :)
I have been pretty disoriented since then. The grief has subsided but the emptiness is there. Every time I will myself to draw, the blank page stubbornly stares back at me. And it seems fitting. My personal utopia lies shattered around my feet and it looks like it will be a while before I'm able to create another happy illustration.
Oh, you will be missed so so much Papa.